The Hardest Part
by Jayne Foyer
Summary: The hardest part was holding him back, as he screamed and screamed for his brother. -Roy's thoughts during and just after the last time he sees Edward and Alphonse Elric.-


The hardest part was holding him back.

I'm a soldier. I've killed people, I've lost friends, I've watched the light fade from a person's eyes, I've blamed myself for things I could not have stopped. But never has my heart broken more in a single second than when I restrained Alphonse Elric and listened to him cry desperately for his brother.

Edward smiled resigned. He didn't want to leave, but he knew he had to. He ignored his brother – he flat out turned his back. For a moment I found myself angry at him for not taking more time to say goodbye. Then the moment passed, and I realized that if he took any more time, he wouldn't be able to leave at all.

Al was screaming, bellowing at his brother to listen to him. _What about Winry?_ he screamed, and for a moment Ed paused, an unrecognizable expression on his face. I feared that he might actually begin to listen to his brother and come down with us, to Central, to live the life that he was always supposed to lead. But he just shook his head as Al's cries became more desperate. He struggled halfheartedly against my grasp.

Then Ed disappeared into the ship, and I let go of Al. He clapped and touched the material below us, and I didn't even try to stop him as he leapt onto the ship. "He needs my help!" he shouted. "Close the Gate on this side, and make sure no one ever opens it again!"

There was a loud noise from the ship. He was leaving. "I will," I replied.

He clung onto the doorway. The whole ship was shaking. As the rockets ignited and the whole ship began to move, he yelled, "_Thank you!_" and then he disappeared.

There was silence.

It took time to get back to the surface. I stood there, almost unmoving.

Edward Elric was alive. Not only that, but he was reunited with his brother again. I looked down at the wreckage that used to be Central. I was closer to the ground now. I could see two women emerging from an entrance in the earth; one dark haired and wearing a military uniform, one blonde haired and so terrifyingly familiar.

She, not Havoc, Armstrong or Hawkeye, was waiting for me when I landed.

I had spoken with her on the telephone, but nothing had prepared me to see her in person, to see that face in the photograph that had grown up so much. I stepped off the craft.

"I'm sorry," I said, fully aware that my apology, however sincere, could not begin to alleviate her loss.

She shook her head, and she was smiling bitterly. "It's all right," she said. "He had to go. At least he has Al."  
I nodded. She put a hand to her face. I looked at the ground, pretending not to notice as glittering tears tracked down her cheeks. Again, I said, "I'm sorry."

I stepped forward, reached my hand out to grasp hers, to tell her that I had to leave now, because I had to rebuild my city.

Instead of taking my hand, though, she impulsively drew forward and put her arms around me, burying her face like a little girl into my shoulder. For a second I was too surprised to do anything, then, slowly, hesitantly, I put my arms around her back as her body shook with sobs.

"It's alright," I told her, gently, quietly. "It's all going to be alright now."

My team came running down the wide street, no doubt searching for me. Several hundred feet behind Winry's back, though, I saw Lieutenant Hawkeye stop and raise her hand to halt the others. The others dispersed until it was her left standing there, her gun at her side. She didn't come any further. All she did was smile slightly, in something like relief.

I closed my eyes tightly, and let my own hot tears fall into this girl's hair.

* * *

Rewatched Conqueror of Shamballa. The saddest part is when Roy is holding Al back and Al is screaming and screaming.

This is NOT suggesting Roy and Winry as a pairing. That's mildly gross to me. Ed just meant SO MUCH to each of them, and it's time they acknowledge it.

And it took Roy seeing what he had left to finally realize how much he had really lost

And an announcement, for those of you who still follow me: **the next chapter of _Dead_ is over halfway done. I plan on finishing it tonight and posting tomorrow or the day after. Like I promised, _I will finish that story._**

I'm sorry for the 8 month hiatus. I hope you still like the story :)


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